because i watched a highly disturbing documentary

Once upon a time I dropped my Family Finance class. And signed up for a class called Women's Health Issues.
I missed the first two lectures. It's a once a week class.
I went tonight for the first time.
We talked about body image.
Now all I want to do is hug all of the women I know and tell them how beautiful they are and that what they see in the media and advertisements should in no way define how they feel about themselves.
And I've decided that even though I've put on a few pounds in the last year (thank you Gloria's Little Italy and all of your garlic bread), that I still love myself and feel beautiful in my own skin.

The good news is that my fiance loves me.
And God loves me.
I don't have to be a size 23 waist with boobs that fill out a D cup to have self worth.

Next week is female anatomy and mensuration.
The week after that is birth control.
Dang I'm so excited about this class.

i open at the close

What to say about the last few days??

It's been a whirlwind. It's been crazy, awesome, fun, happy, sad, scary, all of the above.
Yesterday I graduated from BYU-Idaho! My sweet family came up and sat through hours of speakers and musical numbers to watch me walk across a stage and get a diploma. We drove home right after the ceremony and got back to PG at 2am.

I have so many mixed emotions about this graduation and this upcoming chapter of my life. Obviously, I'm super excited and happy, I'm happy to be close to my family again, I'm so excited to start at BYU, I have such an exciting future and it's all just very exciting! I'm also really glad to be through with Rexburg weather! No more frozen hair when walking home from the temple!

On the other hand, I do feel a lot of sadness and nostalgia when I think that I won't be going back up to BYU-Idaho. I truly had a wonderful experience there for the three semesters that I attended. I met amazing people, especially new roommates every semester that made my days a total adventure. My classes were fabulous, my professors were so amazing. The spirit at BYU-Idaho is truly incredible. I know that BYU is a church school and well and it's set up in a similar way, but there is definitely a different spirit in Rexburg. I believe that "The Spirit of Ricks" is holding strong!

It's so funny being back in the home that I grew up in and feeling the potential of my future and the pure openness before me. This past week, whenever I thought about graduation, it honestly felt like everything was ending. Which it has I guess, a really big part of my life has ended. But when I was still in Idaho, I couldn't get past the ending and I couldn't see farther than it. But now that it's over, ended and finished, all I can see is the beginning. My future is so exciting. I feel very blessed right now.

I'm officially a BYU-Idaho Alumni, and I love that feeling!

learn your lessons.

I am a strong believer that God does things for a purpose and that all of the situations in life that we find ourselves in happen to teach us a specific thing. What matters is what we choose to learn from these situations. When I look back on my college career so far, I can pinpoint lessons that I needed to learn from specific semesters because of where I lived, the roommates I had and the classes I took.

My first semester I learned that it's ok to just be sad sometimes. I know that sounds silly, but that is something that I seriously struggled with. And it took me a long time to get to the point where I could accept myself even if I was feeling sad.

My second semester I learned that God wants us to get married and make temple covenants and have an eternal family. I always knew that, but this was the semester that I truly KNEW it. I also learned that a relationship that isn't moving in the direction of the temple becomes a detriment to eternal progression, even if both of the people in question are temple worthy and good people.

This semester I have learned that I can be alone. Physically, I can be alone which is something that has scared me for a long time. I have very busy roommates and I find myself in an empty apartment every day at some point, sometimes for hours. This used to completely unglue me. I needed social interaction at all times. But this semester I have truly learned to enjoy my own company. Also, I can be alone emotionally. I don't need anyone in my life to make me happy, I can do it all on my own. I don't need to be in a relationship to have a sense of self. I think I've found myself more this semester, being all by myself, than I have for a long long time. It's a nice feeling, to get to know myself in a very personal way.

Obviously, I have learned much more than just these three things over the past three semesters, but I feel strongly that each semester of college I have experienced so far has yielded at least one true principle about myself. I feel like I am taking baby steps to truly know who I am and it's an exciting journey. Thankfully I have the footsteps of the Savior to follow and I have my patriarchal blessing to help me know where to turn. Isn't it wonderful how much God loves us that He gives us those examples? And that He leads and directs our lives so that we can maximize our learning experience here? It's so great.

i'm learning about...

Plate tectonics.
Google Earth.
How to be a mentor (or mento...)
Modus Novus.
Atonality.
Resolving a fully diminished seventh chord.
The question about population control versus food production.
That our earth really does have enough resources to feed everyone.
Stewardship.
The living water.
The life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Debating moral issues.
Budgeting.
Agency.
Venn diagrams.
Logic.

I thought I'd report on a little bit of the more academic side of college, since my mind feels a bit like a wrung out sponge at the moment. Mondays and Wednesdays I go to 6 classes in a row and then do 3 hours of homework.