because i watched a highly disturbing documentary

Once upon a time I dropped my Family Finance class. And signed up for a class called Women's Health Issues.
I missed the first two lectures. It's a once a week class.
I went tonight for the first time.
We talked about body image.
Now all I want to do is hug all of the women I know and tell them how beautiful they are and that what they see in the media and advertisements should in no way define how they feel about themselves.
And I've decided that even though I've put on a few pounds in the last year (thank you Gloria's Little Italy and all of your garlic bread), that I still love myself and feel beautiful in my own skin.

The good news is that my fiance loves me.
And God loves me.
I don't have to be a size 23 waist with boobs that fill out a D cup to have self worth.

Next week is female anatomy and mensuration.
The week after that is birth control.
Dang I'm so excited about this class.

because of the napkins.

That day when all you want to do is eat. Eat. Eat. EAT.

And then you just want to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. SLEEP.

what i would see in the mirror of erised.

Last night I had a very vivid, intense dream that I was hugely pregnant and in labor while an incompetent birthing coach deserted me and I could feel my baby's head and foot through my stomach.

Today in my welcome to the ward interview with my new bishop, he asked me what I want to be when I grow up and without any hesitation I answered "A mom. Everything else I am doing is just a back-up plan."

In due time.

I'm happy with my life right now. I'm so happy to be single. I'm so happy that I'm not a mom yet.

But oh heck. When that day finally comes, I'm going to love those babies, and I am going to be a dang awesome wife and mother. It's my divine destiny. Screw feminism. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. And there should be nothing wrong with that desire.

man, i feel like a woman

I have a Kindle app on my phone and whenever I have a spare minute I love to read on it. Over the last couple of weeks I read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Most definitely one of my favorite books of all time. I had so many moments reading it when I felt the spirit so strongly and there were times that I was brought to tears. I feel that this book is a wonderful guide for making the transition from girlhood to womanhood, and it gives an accurate description of what being a woman is all about, and what the purpose of life is.

There's a huge push for gender equalization going on right now. Honestly, I disagree with that. Sure, I think that women should have equal opportunities and equal pay and there shouldn't be discrimination, but I also think that a woman shouldn't be condemned for having the desire to stay at home and raise her children and keep her house. Biologically and physically, men and women are different, because they have different purposes for this life. Yoked together equally, men and women together can accomplish amazing things because of our differences. I think that this is an idea that is trying to get lost in our society today. And it makes me sad.

I am so excited to someday give up my body to bring children into this world, to dedicate my life to them and hopefully be able to stay in the home while they are young, teaching them and nurturing them. I want to be with a man who can support me in that role and understand and love his own role as a provider and priesthood presider. My future family is the number one most important thing to me, everything else; education, career, mission etc. is all a stepping stone to get to that point.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now. :)

i'm the worst roommate ever

Due to the fact that it is Saturday morning and our door is far too squeaky. No matter what she says, I'm pretty positive that I woke Merrie up sometime in the million times that I went to the bathroom at 6am.

Some days I want to curse womanhood.