it feels like the end but it's just the beginning

We're down to 6 days til the dreaded goodbye commences.

Thank goodness for General Conference. I love this wonderful weekend that comes twice a year. It's a perfect weekend to rest and recuperate--body and soul, which was perfect seeing as I woke up with nice cold on Saturday.

The best part of the weekend was seeing so much of my family. Lot's of cousins on Dad's side came down from good old Rexburg to grandma's for the traditional food fests. I adore my cousins and it was wonderful getting to catch up with them. We girls had a nice time munching on pizza and chatting it up while the men were gone at priesthood, and then Grandpa introduced me to Naughty Marietta which I am determined to finish with him one of these days.

Sunday morning began far too early with a frantic scramble to get ready and out the door at 7:30 for the morning session with my sister and two of my aunts. Hooray Janice for coming out from Kentucky, it's always such a joy to see her. :) Although I couldn't breathe through my nose and my poor head kept nodding in some of the talks, I'm so glad that I got to go to the morning session, especially to watch the Motab broadcast before. I can't wait to be in that choir someday. The messeges of this session really resonated with me and I found a lot of comfort and council. Even though it took us 2 1/2 hours to get home and I slept through most of the 2:00 session, it was well worth it. Thank you Janni and Franny!

I'm beginning to panic a little bit about leaving in a week. I have so much that I need to do, especially cleaning and packing. I need to have everything ready to go back to school before I go to New York since I will be leaving the day after I get back from my trip. Classes start the day after I move in. I'm trying to figure out when my recovery time will be--knowing me, I'm really going to need it. There's a chance I'll go into survival mode that first week of classes. I hope my roommates will be ok...

It suprises me so much how life turns out sometimes. Four months ago as I thought about leaving Rexburg and coming home, I would cry every time because I didn't want to leave such a wonderful experience behind. Now as I think about leaving home again to go back, saying goodbye to certain people, I cry even more earnestly. What I thought was going to be a miserable, lonely winter has been one of the happiest times of my life. I'm sure that when I'm back up in Rexburg and in class and living that life again, I will remember how good it is and be happy with it. But I get far too hung up on the change, on leaving, on saying goodbye. I get too attached to where I'm at and it makes it hard to let go. But one thing that I've learning since graduating high school is that life is going to change drastically, frequently. And it's all going to be ok. It's just life. And as hard as it can be sometimes, I am so grateful for the life I live. I'm so lucky, in so many ways.