one thing at a time

I am the type of person that tends to worry and fret about stressful situations. I get very very anxious, lose sleep, analyze everything and expect the worst. It seems like I have had several stressful situations thrown my direction lately, and I've just had to deal with them one at a time.

First was singing in Sacrament meeting today. As much as I love music and singing, I get very bad performance anxiety and muscles freeze up that I need to not be frozen and the sounds I get out are not equivalent to what I know how to do. Thanks to lots of prayer, we sounded fine, and it was a wonderful experience today. I'm grateful that I got to sing with my mom :):) and another extremely talented lady in my ward who I have admired for a long time. I am very glad for the performance experience, and more importantly for the spiritual experience.

Next is the going to New York thing that is happening tonight. People keep asking if I'm ready? No. No I am not. I am all packed, I have everything I need (besides my plane ticket and boarding pass, yeeshk!), but I am in no way prepared for this trip and what to expect. I like knowing what to expect. I only know one person going on the trip, I don't know exactly to a tee where I am going to be every minute of the day, I don't know, I don't know. I'm going in blind. It'll be a growing thing or something.

Then I will have to cope with going back to school right after I get back from the Big Apple. This will be the biggest worry and strain of all because it is going to change everything. There is far too much uncertainty associated with this going back to school thing. Too many implications and worries and potential trials and hardships that I really don't want to get into. I know it's all going to be ok, but I still struggle with the goodbye and the change. I get comfortable and want things to stay how they are now. I've been so blessed this winter with amazing experiences, and I don't know what will happen when I'm up at school.

Remember four months ago when I was feeling this exact same way about being home? I just wanted to be back in Rexburg with all of my heart. Now here I am, feeling the complete opposite. Life is just full of suprises. Ha ha. I'm very amused.

Enjoy your week friends, I'll have a nice fat New York post as soon as I can.

Peace out!